Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
His hands were made for my vagina.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize