Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
