what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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