I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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