Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
