It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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