dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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