Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
