So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
