i just had sex bonerless
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
