Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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