love makes seman taste better
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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