So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
