i don't like sucking hair
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
