Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.

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(641): View more from Iowa

i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.

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(727): View more from Florida

I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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(703): View more from Virginia

threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

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(404): View more from Georgia

And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

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(314): View more from Missouri

He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.

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