At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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