its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
