mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
