He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
