dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
