Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
