PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
