I think im going to throw up on grandma
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
