Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
