We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
do nipples grow back?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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