Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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