break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
