He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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