he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
