got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
