What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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