Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
