you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
