apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Oh god it's open bar.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
