if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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