I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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