someone threw a dead crab at me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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