She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
