His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
