she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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