I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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