what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
