Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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