btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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