It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
