Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm too high and old for this...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
