I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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