Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
