thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
no you cant smoke seaweed
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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