summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
