My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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